UPDATE

OK.. so I really suck... I thought I would use this blog as a tool to record my adventure with WLS... I need to do better.. and with the approaching new year, I guess I can use this as my new years resolution.... I do a blog for work and usually write once a month at least, unless something else comes up. I guess when it comes to my personal stuff.. it takes a back seat.

Well the holidays have started and of course I haven't really done much. Now I am scrambling to get some things done. I just found out that some of my family are coming up for our holiday get together... and I am not ready.. so i will spend the next few days cutting, filing, sodering.. and finishing up some gifts...

So update on WLS. Frankly I don't feel like I had any surgery done. I have been able to eat anything (except popcorn - which they tell you to stay away from)... I wish it was a bit harder actually. i wanted to try a cookie and then get sick, then I wouldn't eat a cookie ever again. Well that hasn't worked. I will only eat one cookie.. but it depends on what kind and how big it is. I look at food labels , but with the holidays here, and all the good food, i'm struggling... I just have to take each day as it comes, and if I fall off the wagon, then I just have to remember that tomorrow is another day.

So... i have lost since July 28... 53 lbs... wow... my clothes are falling off... and i have been able to get into clothes i haven't been able to for the past few years... I am getting to the point that I will have to go out and buy some clothes...which is a good thing, but I really struggle because i don't want to spend the money. I did get a couple of pair of pants at resale, which is okay.. but my selection is very slim. I am hoping to get some gift cards this year to hopefully buy some things that will last me the next few months. We have our work christmas party on Dec 19th.. so I am hoping to post a picture of me then.... i should be taking them montly... but we will see if I can do better next year. I am hearing from tons of people that I look great.. however, I don't thnk I look much different. Never in my mind did I think I looked as big as I was. Only when I saw photos did it hit me how big I truly was. But I am on my way down.. and it's a good feeling. I have more energy.. my hips, back and knees don't hurt anymore, well actually my knees still hurt, but no as much or as often as before...

Well i gotta scoot for now.. will update you soon....

This time next week I will be back to work.

Well.. i figured that I would start blogging every day, but as you can see I haven't. I thought I would use the time off to do constructive things.. like work on Jewelry, or read, read read. I have been doing reading, but not like I thought I would. As for working on jewelry, I haven't really don't that at all. Why is it when you have the time to do the things you don't usually have time for, you no longer want to do any of it.

Being off has been okay, but honestly, I don't know what I will do when I retire. I enjoy my job, so that is definately a plus, but I know that I will just go crazy if I don't have something to do every day.

I did take a few days and went to visit my aunt. My mom and I went, as I haven't been there in such a long time, and since I had some time off, and my Mom is retired... then we could go visit her. I went with the intention of making some cards. She has a room dedicated to stamping, so she has all the tools. I took down some paper and voila! we made cards. I enjoyed myself, spending time with her and my Mom. But today is back to life. I have a doc appt tomorrow and can't wait to see how much weight I have lost.

I told myself that I wasn't going to be getting on the scale all the time, and I did, at first, but now I haven't been on it. I do have to get on it tomorrow after my doc's appt to see how much difference between my scale at home and the doctors. I want to be able to use the difference when I weigh myself at home.

I have been doing okay since my last visit with the doc. The scars from the laproscope is healing. Last week they were itching like mad.. but they are much better. Each day gets better and better. I did have a fever on Saturday, but I think it was viral and it only lasted a day. I woke up with a sore throat on one side. That has totally gone away. I didn't feel well yesterday and ended up taking a nap for almost three hours, but I think it was I kinda overdid it...

The diet of pureed food sucks. I have eaten some things that were not pureed, but at chewed, and chewed them till they were pureed.. I am having trouble with the not drinking while eating. All my life I have always had something to drink while eating. I chew my food, and mostly use the drink to get it down to my stomach. so I only use a sip.. enough to wet my food, thus helping to swollow it. I know I am weird.... I really haven't had much problem. I have eaten chicken breast... but made sure that I cut it in tiny pieces and also made sure that I chewed it really well. I am taking all my vitamins and medications (can I just say that I can't stand the med to prevent gallstones?) i am having trouble getting all of my calcium in.. but am making an effort to really try. I think once I get back to work and on a schedule... I will do much better.

My clothes are getting looser.. and will soon have to take some of my pants in as I don't want to just get rid of them, just yet. I still have some wear in them... I do have some clothes that were too tight... so I will be able to fit into them... but will have to buy some things. I think I might get some t-shirts to wear under sweaters.... things I can layer... but that will be one of the positive things in this journey...

so for now...see you lighter

One Week Ago Today

So we will use this picture. This was taken earlier in June in St. Michael's Maryland. Bernie and I had decided to head down for the day and lo and behold they were having a wine festival. So knowing that we were soon approaching the time that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the things that I love, namely wine and good food, we decided to take the last few weeks before surgery to partake and "live it up" last supper style. We spent the afternoon trying all kinds of wine, had crabs and oysters on the dock, and had a great time. We can use this picture as a before..

So today is one week post op. This time last week I was in recovery, waiting for transport to my room. I had a private room, which was great on a healing perspective. It's hard enough getting woken up every hour to be poked and prodded. No rest for anyone, but I understand they had to do what they had to do.

I had a wonderful staff of nurses and patient care techs... I even got a card from them from the hospital. I will tell you that they have this down to a T... and my experience was great, even though I did have to stay an extra day. Tuesday I was pretty much out of it, but on Wednesday evening, I said something to the nurse that I felt like I had a fever, and lo and behold I did. Slight, so on Thursday when I should have been released, they ended up doing a swollow test and running more bloodwork. So because of all of this, I had to stay and extra day, but whatever it took. My doctor laughed at me because as soon as I could on Friday, I got up, took a shower, and was dressed sitting in a regular chair waiting for the okay to get sprung.. and I did once my boodwork came back okay.

It really hasn't been that bad. I'm trying like hell to make sure that I do everything right. I don't want to loose my hair... So even though the nurses aren't pushing that I get my protien in immediately, I am trying my darndest to get as much as I can in. I am constantly drinking , or should I say sipping on something to keep myself hyraded.

I decided to do this blog a bit ago, but figured that I would really start it once I was off from work post surgery. I want to have a record of this journey, and if this can be inspiration to someone, then perfect. I know that I asked a lot of questions, did research on the internet etc. This decision to undergo surgery was not something that I took lightly. This has been something that I have been thinking about for a few years, but wasn't ready to make the step. So here is my story.

I was average as a small kid, but a bit "chunky". I watched my daughter go through a "chunky" stage and I remember that. I don't know if she got teased in school or not, but she blossomed into a curvey young lady. I remember her wanting to be thin like her friends, but she matured earlier than them. And when she did, she had "curves", just like I did. How do you tell a young girl, who's body is changing that curves are a good thing, and that those skinny girls will get them much later, if even at all. Watching her struggle with these things brought back so many bad memories for me.

I remember in school, elementary - the kids used to call me "Tank". I never told anyone that till recently. I guess starting on this journey has been able make me more "open" about my issues. I have always been very sensitive about my weight. I ate to feel good, I ate when I was angry, or depressed. I just ate, and even though to every one on the surface, I didn't really eat much, I was a closet eater. I would buy things and hide them to enjoy when I needed it. Food was my drug. I can come clean about this now because I don't want to go back there, and maybe by exposing myself, I won't ever go back there. I have never told anyone my weight, not even my husband who I know loves me no matter what. I will reveal my weight when I started this journey once I find out what it was. You see I had to go through classes, etc, so I really don't know what the starting weight was because I didn't want to know so I didn't look. I can tell you that my defining moment came on my trip to England this year. I was in complete discomfort on the way over due to the seatbelt. I was bound and determined that I wasn't going to need an extention, however, on the way back, I knew I couldn't sit with my knee's bent in the same position and when we tried to buckle it, it was tighter than on the way over, I had to break down and ask for an extention. Needless to say I was much more comfortable, however, I have never been so humiliated in my life, hence, the end to my beginning.

I need to take a break right now and regroup. Writing just this little bit has taken me by surprise and I need a break. more to come......